I´m kind of left with two options here in Costa Rica. A tiny town with about 300 people and a little town with about 3000. The tiny town is simply one of the most beautiful places I´ve ever been. As I rode a bike through an amazing path by the sea with this exuberant green life, I decided this was worth a while longer to stay.
The big difference about these two options is the school. The tiny town obviously has no kindergarten. Instead, there is a wonderful lady doing some volunteer homeschooling work for two hours twice a week.
There is another tiny town close by (half an hour by bike) with a same kind of homeschooling hours program in which I could put Luísa into (and get fit while doing so 
). Besides these few hours, I´d need some babysitting hours to complement and give me some time to work. It would be very close to unschooling.
The 3000 people town has a really nice kindergarten that runs for 6 hours a day, five days a week. One thing about that kindergarten is that Luísa would be around 9 peers of the exactly same age as her (this is a bit freaky for me to think about, because in real life, you are never around people the exact same age as you. I reckon this stimulates a bit more the competition among the peers).
In that kindergarten they have a sort of strict program to follow. A nice program indeed with lots of arts and interesting games and outdoors activities in a beautiful setting. But I wonder if this has a bit too much structure for the wild cat that Luísa is. I´m guessing the kids have to follow the program, there are only two teachers and they can´t simply have the children doing whatever they want there, it would be hard to manage them.
At the same time, giving Luísa discipline is my weakest point and this school could be a good thing.
The six hours looks a bit extensive to me (although it would be liberating for the mama here). They work with the children from 8:30 till 2 or 2:30pm. They use the children´s most fresh hours.
I kind of miss Luísa already just to imagine her there almost all day to come back to me tired. Of course I´m assuming this, maybe she would love it and be still full of freshness to share with me. Actually a mother that has a son in that school commented how happy her son comes back home.
I´m sure Luísa would learn English there super fast and be with nice and tender caregivers.
At this point, I´m not even worried about having the time to surf anymore. We are here for a short time (about seven months, maybe) and I want to write and get this blog off the ground.
So I´m left with the unschooling or not choice. Less school and less time for myself with more loving hours with my precious little one or more time for myself and more mind controlling of her.
What scares me the most about schooling is making her fit immediately into the system. Making her sit and work with the water colors even if she is not feeling like that to a point where not only self control will be learned but conformity as well. And she is only three! I consider this a bit too early.
Back home in Brazil, she was going to a kindergarten in the mornings for four hours since she was two and had I read ¨Two – Too Young For Preschool¨ before, I´d maybe had kept her home a bit longer. Although I needed some time for myself and I know all that school staff and trust them 100% in the loving and giving freedom criteria.
I´m finding that the choices about parenting are the most important ones in life and the most difficult to make.
I get full of anxiety, excitement, fears, insecurities and guilt feelings all mixed together, but hey, I´m no super mom right? So I´d better simply stop trying to be and be ok with my parenting choices.
I´ll start with the tiny town and see how it goes. We will adapt as time goes by.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi!
My oldest son is 3 years old and he went to kindegarden for 3 weeks. For us, his parents, the kindergarden is a big challenge for him and help for us. My wife have more time to care youngest son and to do something at gome, the sun have opportunity to learn how to speak, how to behave in society, how to play with other children and, as result, this is disciplines!
I know there are great things about the kindergarten, being the discipline I don´t have home what helps me the most. Since Luísa started going at the age two, she´s been much easier to handle at home. A big part of this is also that she is much more mature now. Nice that in Brazil the schools run only for 4 hours, hardly ever more than that.
This must be a difficult choice for you! I have the hardest time sending my son to Kindergarten (he’s 6) because of the whole conformity issue and it doesn’t allow him to socialize with a larger group of people, everyone is about the same age in his class.
My son is a non-conformist and I think I will need to homeschool him next year. For right now, I have made the difficult decision of keeping him in school. I have to have the time to work on my business and I need those hours. I believe that a few more months of him being in school will allow me to get my big website up and going and do some advertising for my product and so forth.
I have a daughter at home and I hired a nanny to take care of her while I work. I pay her, but I have thought of bartering with her also. I could provide her with a valuable service while she watches my daughter.
My end goal is to be financially free. Although my son is not in the best place right now, he’s okay. And this will help me to have financial independence so that I can have more time with him later and homeschool and get my husband back home.
I hope things go well for you. You’re doing a great job!
Thank you Beth, I know you won´t let your kids be too shaped by the school, you are very present. Unfortunately most moms don´t really have the choice to unschool or homeschool, they need to work and they need that time away from their children.
You´ll be much more relaxed around your children once you are financially free, so in a way this time away from you is also what they need.
I wish you all the luck in achieving your goals.
Hi Beth!
. Everyone of my brothers and sisters went to kindergarden and all are good people and parints of their children. Thus I know what mean to go to the kindergarden and what mean to take care of children 
.
It wasn’t a difficult choice for me. I was born in a family which have 9 children and I’m was the oldest one
I also want to be financial free and parallel my current job I start my coach career. It’s not easy but this what I want to do.
Hope that my steps help my children and whole my family don’t think about money and do what we want.
Good luck!
Alex, helping your family to be less worried about finances is huge. I hope you do well in your coach career too, just like Beth, giving your children the example of making money without necessarily a job is awesome. That is the real example of non-conformity.
Hi Alex!
It sounds like you are doing an awesome job!
I think each person has a different path. You are doing an awesome job and I think that children who go to regular school can be just fine also and can be independent (and financially free).
I went through college and graduated with a degree in Mass Communication and I chose this path later on in life.
Many blessings to you in your journey!
Beth Stowers
Ugh, I can only imagine how tough of a choice that would be! My daughter is still too young for school but we’re already struggling with the conundrum of, we don’t think the schedule based, one size fits all, competition oriented setup is the ideal way to learn, but we also highly value to communal learning aspect that traditional schooling provides.
Sigh… whatever you choose to do I’m sure Luisa will flourish… she sounds like a wonderful little girl.
Thanks Jenna, it is indeed a tough decision to make. I hope I set Luísa on the right path and I agree with you, whatever I choose Luísa will do just fine, she is one cool individual already.
Marilia, I so relate to this: “I’m finding that the choices about parenting are the most important ones in life and the most difficult to make.”
As with any tough decisions there are pros and cons to any particular school and also the choice to home school. Your process…weighing the pros and cons and also taking into account what you know about your daughter will lead you to the right decision. I have complete confidence in you!
I just want to address one thing both you and @Beth mention about spending time with children one’s own age, as if that is a negative. It is easiest to begin learning to socialize with peers, because we are inclined to understand and relate to them best. It’s like learning to swim in the wading pool first, before diving into the ocean.
Learning the ins, outs, and all the complexities of engaging with a peer group prepares a child to understand socialization with others of any age. And social intelligence is an extremely valuable part of education, at least 75% of the reason for a child to be in any kind of school, in my opinion. I don’t believe children lose their uniqueness trying to “fit in”. It is up to the parents to encourage a child’s self-confidence and authenticity. When allowed to play and learn in groups children figure out how to use their unique point-of-view to positively engage with others, resolve conflicts, find community, solve problems, live peacefully in the world.
In the parent/infant and toddler classes I teach, children are learning to engage with each other beginning at 3 months. They are grouped with others of a similar age and encouraged to interact freely. The parents and I mostly stay out of their way. We watch them figuring out how to touch gently, share toys, imitate. They enjoy and learn from each other. Each week we see new development.
The homeschooling programs I’ve found most successful are the ones in which children are grouped with others on a daily basis.
Thanks so much for linking to my “Two – Too Young For Preschool” post!
Janet, thanks for sharing your thoughts on grouping children of about the same age, like in your classes.
How do you feel about groups for pre-schoolers?
I like the Waldorf and Montessori kindergartens best as they usually mix children from 3 to 6 years old. It´s interesting to think of what you said about children learning first with their peers and I also think that in groups of mixed ages they have lots of opportunities too as they have older kids more skilled to learn from and imitate as they have younger kids that they learn to help out as well.
I see this in Luísa´s kindergarten back in Brazil as the teachers help the older kids to relate to the younger ones, being more gentle with them (although they can get easily bored with the younger ones
)
I think mixed-age groups can work too, for preschoolers and beyond, but not so well for infants and young toddlers because they can’t have safe conflicts when an older child physically dominates. My point is that I don’t believe mixed age groups are MORE beneficial than same-age groups, just different. Hopefully, children in mixed -age groups are given opportunities to work out conflicts safely, and as independently as possible. When an older child has a conflict with a younger one, we are inclined to worry about the younger one and step in to defend him.
I would love to hear more from Carolina about how these things are handled. I don’t have much experience with mixed-age groups (apart from with my own 3 children!)
Hi Janet, right now I am busy at work, but as soon as I get back home I can give you my opinion!
Hi Marilia,
I am an early childhood teacher from Costa Rica who is currently in the process of creating an Early Childhood Center inspired mostly in the Reggio Emilia Approach. You can write directly to me and maybe I can give you some specific suggestions. I understand your concern and that’s why I wanted to give Costa Rica another option for this age with mix-aged groups, play and project-based learning, the environments is considered a third teacher. You can visit my website and Facebook and write to me at any time.
Carolina
Thanks a lot Carolina, I´ll do that. How lucky I am that you stumbled on my blog
Carolina’s school sounds GREAT!
HI Janet, you know me from Facebook (Bellelli Educacion)!
Hi Carolina, so glad to know I have the good taste to already be connected with you!
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