I spent 10 days with my family in São Paulo. Besides the bonding with my loved ones, there were some very negative aspects of our immersion in the big city.
The most negative thing is the TV (protagonist thing in most living rooms). In my dad´s house, my 5-year old watched a lot of TV.
One day, my girl was watching TV and my dad and his girlfriend invited us to go to see Madagascar 3 (3D) at the mall. I felt stressed inside. First it was my bad memories of being in a mall on a Saturday night, but also it was a lot of screen watching already that day and now we were off to the movies (her first time) just before bedtime. It was sweet from my dad to take his granddaughter out anyway.
Before the movie started, there was a small clip for 3D effects show. Three characters in a white background were singing while another one was annoying the others. Finally, one of the singing characters punched the annoying one really hard on the head throwing it away. Part of the theater laughed at it. It was supposed to be funny, to see that violence display made for kids (things like this make me believe there´s an evil hidden agenda on what´s on for kids).
Madagascar 3 is improper for young kids. There should be a warning about it. It was too much persecution and too fast action and what shocked me the most was the guns showing up in the first 20 minutes. There were policemen (I can´t remember now if they had guns on them, but I guess so) and the bad guy on this movie is this policewoman that chases the animals with a tranquilizer in hand, but it´s a gun none the less and I don´t think my kid could fathom that it wasn´t a killing gun.
I was horrified at the whole thing, and luckily, my daughter felt scared of the evil character and couldn´t watch any longer (30 minutes was nightmare inspiring enough).
If you let your kid watch TV, you might know that Sponge Bob is improper for preschool-age children. A study on fast paced cartoons done last year designed to assess what is known as children’s executive function, which underlies attention, working memory, problem-solving and the delay of gratification showed that “the children who watched the cartoon were operating at half the capacity compared to other children,” (this is an invitation to what will be labeled later as ADHD).
I know this, my kid goes through weeks without a single video and still I let her watch it. Once you have the TV on and you are minding your own business, you are not there censuring all the shit that Discovery Kids (my daughter´s favorite) or Cartoon Network or whatever channel has to offer. And even if you avoid Sponge Bob, the same problem happens with other fast-paced cartoons.
Plus there is the advertisement of all kind of silly and useless toys (especially the electronic ones that can play alone). Only after watching the movie, I noticed that McDonalds advertises it´s happy meal with the Madagascar characters as gifts. My girl has never been to McDonalds (yet).
I also learned recently, through friends, that Scooby Doo makes little ones have nightmares and fears at night for weeks, some families start co-sleeping after Scooby Doo was watched a few times.
It´s hard for little kids to process what´s watched on the screen and this triggers a lot of acting out. Many will be punished for their misbehavior.
After leaving the movie theater, we went for food in the mall. My daughter was feeling very upset about the movie experience, and after 5 minutes out of it she wanted to go back there, so then she was frustrated because I wouldn´t take her back in there. There was also the overstimulation a mall can give (too many bright colors, too much noise, too many people and no fresh air), and she was very clingy and annoying.
I could understand the source of that behavior, but my dad was labeling her ¨spoilled¨ for wanting to be held.
I had to deal with her going wild on me for the next one hour and a half. It was freaking hard to not lose my cool, in our room, while in the living room my dad and his girlfriend watched some more TV.
It´s so good to be back to our home, where without a TV, we often go to the roof to watch the stars before going to bed. That´s my favorite channel!
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh god! Now I feel so bad. I had just let my 3 year old son watch Madagascar 2 days ago. I had never seen the movie because while he was watching it I walked away to cook dinner. In fact, I realized that lately that’s how I got things done.;by putting him in front of the TV. I have to stop this. I realized even my 1 year old is watching it with him. But I’m really not sure how to deal with 2 screaming, cranky kids while I cook. Regardless, I’m putting an end to the TV sessions.
I didn´t mean to make anyone feel bad, just more aware. Sometimes it might be inevitable to let our kids watch these things, but it´s worth it trying all we can to avoid them.
At last, seoonme who comes to the heart of it all
Hi Kimberley,
if you can handle the noise – a radio with some music, empty pots and pans with wooden spoons. Encourage a dance party/ rock band play. It’s how I cooked for three years as an au pair
Ok, fyi watching cartoons do NOT harm anyone. i am a 18 years old girl who grew up watching tv, cartoons and my favorite is actually sponge bob. i am pretty normal, i dont have adhd and i have been doing pretty well on high school, and by pretty well i mean Bs and As, and now i have been accepted into one of the top universities in Canada. i do love watching madagascar and i have watched all of them. No offence but parents dont actually understand their kids, accept it. they all think they do but all the hard work they do just make their child hate them more for being annoying and embarrasing. (FYI i lovemy parents they are pretty free with me). oh yeah i also grew up playing video games and i am not violent i am a pacifist. Just in case i am not even native english spear i am a spanish native speaker. People who grow up watching tv are not stupid or have adhd if you put on some kind of statement be sure to add some kind of prove. I also like eating McDonalds and my parents also let me eat McDonads. Maybe not everything the parent think is right is actually right. Just think about it.
I grew up watching TV as well, it´s not the end of the world. But yes, fast paced cartoons are really bad for young minds. It´s not the same to watch Sponge Bob being 5, 12 or 18 years old. I watched Madagascar 2 with my girl repeated times, but it´s quite clear that half the jokes there are made for adults or older children.
You are right about saying that parents can annoy kids by wanting what they consider best for them. I have a hard time letting go of my psicosis against TV. But yeah, forbidding something might even create a craving and bad feelings toward the parent. It´s all about balance. But too much TV is wrong, and far too many kids today watch too much TV.
First, let me say that my three kids do watch some TV. I have no problem with this fact.
Okay, now that I’ve said that, I want to share my story with you. After my third child was born we got into a bad habit of watching too much TV. The kids got up with daddy in the morning and watched TV. The baby would nap, the older two would watch TV. We got to the point where we were even watching TV at meal times.
The habit became so ingrained that we didn’t even notice most of the time.
We had three full weeks of no TV, and we realized how much we don’t need it. We all felt more creative and relaxed. Time stretched out in all directions. It was amazing.
Since then we’ve let the kids watch TV in moderation, and we only watch it when we are together.
I think that all people should consider going a week or even just a day without TV. The experience is really eye opening.
Thanks for sharing and for your suggestion. One week off of it can do wonders in discovering alternatives to screen watching.
I’m with you, I can see the effects on my kids when they’ve been watching vs when they’ve not been watching. I think it definitely robs them of some pure creativity and kind of interrupts their play, because they’re constantly trying to process what they’ve see (I heard a Waldorf teacher say ‘play it out’, like they have to play again and again to get it out of their system/process it through their consciousness – maybe because it was either too fast, too complicated, too scary…) I think it was sad that your dad labeled her spoiled for wanting to be held, she’s coming from a pretty ideal environment (so much nature, time with close friends, limited exposure to screen time, etc) to suddenly being put right into the middle of a maximally stimulating situation – a busy mall movie theater, and in 3D, all on her first trip ever. Wow! I’d give her a little credit! What a shock! Glad you did!)
p.s. I used to get nightmares from Scooby Doo as a pre-school-aged kid, too! I had 3 sisters though, so it felt like I was being punished when my mom wouldn’t let me watch it, “Noooo, it gives you nightmares {how annoying}.” For me, I guess it would have been better if someone had explained that maybe just possibly, it was a problem with the CARTOON and not just silly me and my silly nightmares. Even though I knew it scared me I wanted to watch it because the other kids wanted to, too – the power of popular opinion effects us all from such a young age! I guess that’s why we are still allowing our kids to watch even though we know it is effecting them negatively.
Right on, we still let them watch because everybody eles does.
I let Luísa watch TV at our friend´s houses, simply because the TV is there and she asks for it or because it´s already on, or because the other kids are watching.
I also fell into the trap of letting TV babysit my kids while I did stuff that needed to be done for work (I work from home as a freelance writer) or around the house. It came to a point when, during a particularly busy period at work, the TV was on practically the entire day every day for a week. At the end of that week we were all cranky and impatient. How refreshing it was to turn off the TV and actually talk with each other. Since then, we’ve had a healthy balance of fresh air, sunlight, silence, and, still, a bit of TV. There is, after all, a direct relationship between too much TV and kids acting out. I think it’s great that more and more parents are realizing this.
I totally agree with you. I just took my 12-year-olds to see it, and we all thought the pace was extremely fast, and YES the villain chasing the lion threatening to cut off his head would be TERRIFYING to a child under 7. Honestly, here is where the US movie rating system has it right: a PG rating contains material that may not be suitable for young children. Maybe your dad assumed that because it was animated it would be appropriate for kids. Animation has matured, and it is not always for kids anymore.
You know your child best, and you know what she, and you, can deal with.
I like reading all the comments. Thanks Mindy for taking the time to write. I find it refreshing to read a young persons experience with media and the many important points you brought up. I had to think a couple of times about writing this comment because I ‘ve learned at this point to challenge my own ideas, try to learn from those who have been there and have good , loving relationships with their kids, implement what I feel comfortable with and watch how it affects us in our family.
At this point I’ve concluded that media TV, computer, video games are really not the problem. They can for many parents be a scapegoat to blame it on. You can find an argument to both sides for or against media. By the way the studies I’ve learned about done with young children usually don’t consider the big difference it can make when there is parent involvement, interaction, interest in what the child is into.
I have a two year old daughter, we haven’t had a TV out of choice for the past 5 0r 6 years(saving money on cable and I like deciding what to watch, read on our laptop) Nonetheless we will probably get a TV I foresee in the near future to enjoy it as family. You can watch now movies from Netflix right on the big screen.
My experience so far with my two year old daughter is that she loves our itouch, she can watch different types of videos from youtube. I’ve learned so much with her. Initially like many parents I let her just watch. I saw it as an opportunity to get things done. Once I started watching with her, making comments, dancing with her to the videos she was watching, thinking of the itouch device in our case as an addition to the other things we do not as threat makes a world of a difference. I see how much value and advantages you can get out from this type of exposure. I learned most importantly to validate what she is into, be part of it, build from there, expand, discuss.
I forecast it will be a different type of story with different media and different age but the important thing is that I’ve realized that I’d like to be a companion in her discovery, offer when necessary guidance, information, build trust.
A lot of talk about creativity, imagination when it comes to this discussion about media but what ideas are really original? We all build from ideas, exposure. Media can be a great resource to learn about the good and bad out there. Once the “no” looses it magic and becomes a maybe, yes, let’s see what other alternatives we have perhaps our children can come to us for guidance.
Marilia with all due respect I think this exposure was a recipe for disaster, a five year old, first time in the movies, in a mall, before bed time. Have you considered not putting all the blame on the movie? (I’m genuinely asking, not trying to point fingers)
Definitely a difficult situation but perhaps a time to try to avoid before hand the not so perfect timing for grandpa’s outing with her.
With love to all you thoughtful parents trying to build good relationships with your children.
Fernanda
P.S. I think I’ve mentioned this yahoo group Marilia, you can find here thoughtful, from experience discussions about TV, media.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/
There´s no doubt there was a lot going on to make this experience bad and I could have prevented it. Sometimes, you just don´t prevent what you think will happen.
I agree that screen time can be very good, especially with a parent near by, not just to guide, but to discover together. I use media too, it´s still limited and I have a thing against TV, maybe it´s a case of too much information
I do get mad at movies perpetuating violence made for kids. Even though this movie was not made for young kids, I think nothing like this should be made for kids of any age.
I´m reading the yahoo group. It´s really great. I learn a lot from it. I reccomend it to everyone.
All,
I am a college student who basically grew up on TV. I was not obsessed, I had about 2 to 2.5 hours of screen time daily.
Let me first say that all through high school and middle school, I got straight A’s. So, when a middle schooler and high schooler screen time doesn’t hurt, as long as you moniter it and are aware of how much you watch.
For the younger kids, channels like Nick Jr. and Playhouse Disney (Which I grew up watching waiting for my sister to get home from school) can really help develop math, reading, colors, numbers, and social skills.
The most important thing is to moniter screen time, look for signs of change in your child and see if it traces back to when you started watching TV, and don’t just put them in front of the TV, watch with them so the ads and themes are better understood by them because they have a parent with them to sort through.
Could we discuss what Harvard Student said? He/She seems very wise about this.
Wow, I really agree with Harvard Student!
This is such a difficult issue, and what I’m adding my be completely irrelevant. I wanted to say it, though, because the comment thread on this article seems to have turned into something of a debate and I think that my experience is significant.
I have just graduated from The University of London with First Class Honours, (the top possible grade available in the UK and something of an achievement), I hold down two jobs (and have done throughout university) and am about to start a postgraduate course at Oxford University. I have managed to be academically successful, and yet I feel that I am addicted to television.
I have been genuinely and increasingly concerned about the amount of time that I spend in front of a screen watching nonsense. This is either on my laptop, on my iPhone or on the TV itself. I can’t seem to spend a second away from it. When I’m preparing food, doing the dishes, even in the bath, I find that I absolutely must watch something. It’s an absolute miracle that I have managed to achieve anything in my life, as I have to really fight to resist my urge to constantly consume rubbish on the screen.
I’m not completely sure where this addiction came from, as I have intellegent, well meaning parents who encouraged me to play outdoors as a child, to write stories, draw, cook, and generally to take part in healthy childhood activities. I remember that I wasn’t allowed a television set in my bedroom, much to my fury.
I have to say that I agree with Marilia in that I feel that television is a destructive force. I see nothing wrong in her opinion that it is wise to keep children away from it as much as possible.
I am working hard at limiting my screen time, and have been sucessful through various means. I just wanted to point out that the content of television is not it’s only dangerous aspect (advertisements aimed at children are more strictly regulated in the UK than in many other countries), but that the actual act of sitting in front of a screen and digesting fast paced, high adrenaline narratives is unhealthy, for everyone.
Limiting the time in front of the television is not only important for our children, but also for us as adults.
I just read this great post on limiting one´s own screen time: Limit Screen Time, Limit Sitting http://zenhabits.net/offline/
Dude, who cares!!!!
I went with my child to see it and he didn’t came improper. The movie isn’t bad at all sesh
I have been feeling guilty for letting my children watch TV, especially since my one year old is starting to love it as well. I spoke to them about limiting TV time, and promised them that we would try to do something fun together instead. I do feel that the kids are communicating better, paying more attention while doing their homework and spending more time outdoors. And they’re reading more books!
I haven’t forbidden them, but including them in the decision to reduce TV really helped!