This is a good-bye post

by Marilia Di Cesare on November 29, 2012

I really enjoyed the 2,5 years that I wrote constantly here. I had great conversations through comments and emails. Tripping Mom made me look deep inside my parenting experience, but it´s time for me to take a break.

This all has been about traveling and parenting. Traveling alone with a small child is not always easy, and sometimes it is easy, but I don´t want to travel for a good while (though in my mind there´s Costa Rica, New Zealand, Indonesia and Sri Lanka for sometime in the future).

In my current routine there´s the thing I love doing more in the world: surfing. Besides this, I´m learning to dance hip hop with several other mamas, and I am working my flexible hours on different projects, so it´s good to be home.

And just as short on traveling stories I am short on parenting stories. I want to keep the private things more private. Two years of exposure is good enough.

For one thing, my daughter doesn´t like anyone to take pictures of her . Or talk about her. No praise, no criticism, nothing, she hates being judged or qualified in any way. ¨A kid¨ is so far the definition that doesn´t hurt her. If she had any idea of how much of her life I share with the world, she would not like it. And I often wonder: Is it really positive to put it all out there, my experience, my thoughts, my feelings?

I also don´t want to be part of the noise that is so abundant in our virtual world. I´d rather have you go out and play instead. Will it really encourage you to grow your own food if you see a picture of my tomatoes? Will you stop spoiling your kid if I do?

There´s one thing on my blog that you probably don´t find anywhere else, it´s my ability to talk about my failures, like here  and here and here. I hope this was useful stuff, when people could relate to being permissive or aggressive and had no one talking about it anywhere, but here they had and it´s comforting to know you are not alone.

But I don´t feel like writing about my failures anymore, or about the amazing things (like this or this or this). I just want to live them.

I might come back to the blog when I start traveling again, or with random posts when I get inspired, but for now, this is it.

I wanted to write for those of you who keep coming back for more. How lovely to have some loyal readers. It was for you that I kept writting (and for myself too). This blog is not big, and I never cared to have only 10 readers in the begginning (or around 300 now), it is thrilling to know that out there in the world there are people who care about what I write and that somehow they can benefit from my stories. This often made me feel a little famous and useful.

I want to thank all of you for stopping by and giving me your most precious gift which is time.

{ 11 comments }

The problem with going home after a big trip

by Marilia Di Cesare on November 14, 2012

Once you travel far enough to be away for time enough to feel a big change, it´s just hard to go back home. Especially if you started to feel that the new place was home too and that back home is a weird combination of words.

It´s been 4 months since my 5-year old and I are back in Brazil after spending 1,5 years in Costa Rica, and finally I´m starting to feel more like home again.

I´m slowly thinking less obsesively about traveling again. A month ago, I was still [click to continue…]

{ 4 comments }

Changing strategy to stop spoiling my kid

by Marilia Di Cesare on October 10, 2012

It´s time I change strategies around my 5-year old. I have to admit to myself that whatever I´m doing in the way I´m parenting, it´s not working to make me an authority  (in the pic you can see her attitude caught on camera when she was 3). I can´t get my daughter to accept sharing my attention with other people, for example.

There are many valid reasons for this to happen: I´m a newbie at taking care of a kid (I only held a baby for the first time when I was pregnant and I simply was never around any kid before), I´m very soft and easy to bend in any relationship (it pisses me off my ability to be submissive), and the strongest one must be the fact that I´m really doing it all by myself (no family nearby, and changing countries twice in five years didn´t help much in the support system department). [click to continue…]

{ 7 comments }

Enough of unschooling for now

by Marilia Di Cesare on September 5, 2012

I really like the unschooling path and I want to be there one day. But my reality shows it´s not the best option for now.

After 2 months being back home from Costa Rica, we didn´t make any new steady friends and I realized it was harder than I thought, since all kids are in school.

My 5-year old girl can play with 2 boys that are sons of two of my friends. But it´s not very frequent that we meet them and so Luísa was left without kids for many days in a row.

She seemed perfect fine with this. She never wants to leave my side and wasn´t keen on the idea of [click to continue…]

{ 10 comments }

Brushing teeth

by Marilia Di Cesare on August 14, 2012

As I mentioned in The worst apointement at the dentist, my story with helping my 5-year old with bushing teeth is not great. I couldn´t make it fun, or a simple thing we just do or anything pleasant.

After the horror story at the dentist, my daughter was doing it quite frequently twice a day. It helped a lot that at the time, we were sharing a house with another single mom and her 5-year old, because the girls would do it together most of the time.

However, after we took off from Costa Rica and [click to continue…]

{ 2 comments }

Experimenting with unschooling

by Marilia Di Cesare on July 29, 2012

My kid is 5 years old, so I know it´s somehow ridiculous to call unschooling the fact that she is not attending kindergarten right now.

However, when you think of school as the primary place for kids to spend a part of their day away from the parents, than what we are doing is unschooling, because rigth now, my daughter doesn´t go to any institution or day care.

Why would I want her home?

First, we just left a Waldorf kindergarten in Costa Rica. [click to continue…]

{ 8 comments }

Give kids space

by Marilia Di Cesare on July 17, 2012

I had two couple of friends coming to visit from Chile.

They were eager to meet my 5-year old, and I could take the chance to meet them first and tell them a little about how to deal with her.

¨She doesn´t like to be called a princess, beautiful, or ugly. She doesn´t like any attention from strangers. She won´t say hello or goodbye, I´m sorry if she looks uneducated at first, [click to continue…]

{ 1 comment }

Let go of control (TV and sweets)

by Marilia Di Cesare on July 10, 2012

A while ago, back in Costa Rica, Luísa had to avoid white sugar to get rid of a skin condition.

It was the first time in my life I had to give up sugar as well (as I joined her needed sugar free diet)

We started eating healthy cookies and my 5-year old was ok with it. We would skip the diet once in a while (probably a few times a week). [click to continue…]

{ 1 comment }