Can We Be Good Moms When We are Overly Tired?

My Mom Skills really suffer when I’m feeling exhausted because inevitably my mood turns into a funk and my creativity goes down the drain. I’m also not terribly patient when I’m tired.

Then add to that the stress of knowing the dishes need to be washed, the laundry needs to be folded and put away, the bathrooms need to be cleaned (they are really grossing me out!), and I need to find time to clip coupons, look for sales, and get my grocery shopping done. Oops, let’s not forget meal planning too!

It’s no wonder I’m quick to fly off the handle, having a total mommy temper tantrum when my kids approach me whining “I’m bored! What fun thing can we do?” I know you’ve been there too. It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

Because I am, however, striving to improve and be a more patient and fun loving mom, I’ve been reading about the women of the bible to see what kind of mom’s they were. I haven’t been able to find anything about whether or not they were fun moms though.

Continue reading “Can We Be Good Moms When We are Overly Tired?”

Why being consistent with discipline is so hard

As a parent, you must know this already: you have to be consistent when educating your child, otherwise the lessons won’t stick.

There are two difficult things about being consistent with discipline. First of all the word “discipline” gives the creeps to many people (to me it does). But, hey, what is discipline anyway?

Second, well, it’s simply hard to be consistent.

I’ll go over these two points.

In Wikipedia, we find that “In its most general sense, discipline refers to systematic instruction given to a disciple. To discipline thus means to instruct a person to follow a particular code of conduct “order.” Usually, the phrase ‘to discipline’ carries a negative connotation. This is because enforcement of order – that is, ensuring instructions are carried out.”

“In the field of child development, discipline refers to methods of modeling character and of teaching self-control and acceptable behavior”. Continue reading “Why being consistent with discipline is so hard”

The ¨30 days without yelling at my child¨ challenge

The thing started spontaneously. A few times I had committed myself to ¨not yelling just for today¨, which gives great results. Then a few times, it was: ¨Wow, 3 days in a row without screaming!¨ But then I´d forget about it.

Last week though, I had a quote from A.S. Neill stuck in my head: ¨Compulsive discipline always implies fear¨ (I don’t want my daughter to be afraid of me, so that I get something done or cleaned), plus learning what self-regulation means, when during a 2-days in a row without screaming I read Jennifer´s post: Do you scare your kids? Do you think they deserve it?  which talks basically about self-regulation and the adult´s need to learn it before expecting it from a child.

All the latest readings I had done were simply calling me to action: Self-regulate yourself for Christ-Sake!

And so I had the idea of the 30-days-without-yelling challenge for myself as a way to make the change happen. And then I read this post from Leo Battuta that talks about how when you want to form a new habit you have to tell other people about it and so I decided to make it public, first on FaceBook and nowhere on the blog. Continue reading “The ¨30 days without yelling at my child¨ challenge”

Progress on Goals with the Exam prep

Reading: I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban – Malala Yousafzai with Christina Lamb; Seven Types of Ambiguity – Elliot Perlman
Playing: High School Story
Coding: Nothing
Working On: GED prep. I am helping my friend Gillian prepare for the GED language test. Next stage: Math. For both exams, we are using the Best GED Classes website.
Thinking: That I need to find that article I’ve been looking for.
Feeling: Motivated, Inspired

I realize that nothing really has changed above but the GED…but have you tried to pass a GED practice test? It’s exhausting, even the simple language questions, it’s an excellent exercise. If you don’t understand what I mean go to this website: Best GED Classes (link above) and check it out. It’s not easy at all.

Continue reading “Progress on Goals with the Exam prep”

Interview with Wendy – single mom of 4

When I heard of this single mom traveling with three kids, I was already intrigued. When I met her, I saw how amazing she was. Dealing with 3 kids under 6 (plus a teenager that was back home, so she has 4), traveling, renting a house in a different country, making friends, checking out the possibility to sell her natural products in Costa Rica, carrying a guitar along, disciplining her 3 children under 6 mindfully and recently having sold her car as a conscious decision to change, Wendy is pure inspiration.

I have developed an interest in watching the dynamics between other mothers and their children, how they manage their lives and I’m learning a lot with this. I love getting to know and spend time with such amazing women like Wendy. She works with plant medicines and as a freelance writer, as she describes it better herself in the interview. She also has a blog: Native Medicinals.

Wendy, you just spent five weeks in Costa Rica. What made you take off with 3 kids under 6?

I went to Puerto Viejo to explore the area as we are considering spending nine months or so there. I am a single mom, and I choose to travel with my kids because I want them to explore education, diversity, language, and lifestyles outside of the United States. I develop online GED lessons for less-privileged youth and I was wondering if that would be possible from Puerto Viejo as well.

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A mother letting off steam

Being a mother can be the source of opposite feelings. For one part it’s beautiful and rewarding, for another is really frustrating. Today I want to talk about the downside of how my experience has been lately. My daughter is 4 years old and going through a heavy phase of resistance. We are having at least a month that she refuses to take a shower every single day, for instance. Some days I manage to convince her nicely to do it, some days my approach is not so nice.

My daughter is 4 years old and going through a heavy phase of resistance. We are having at least a month that she refuses to take a shower every single day, for instance. Some days I manage to convince her nicely to do it, some days my approach is not so nice.

She’s been saying no to so many things that are simply driving me crazy. I counted the nos and yes and they’re in a rate of five nos to each yes. Even when I´m not asking anything, she says no.  It’s like an infantile mind game and in this game she wins, because I can´t cope with the excess of resistance going on every day and eventually I’ll break down and have a screaming attack or I’ll be harsh and make her do things not in a mindful way at all.

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Christmas 2017

I´m not religious. I don’t really mind if there´s a God. Officially, I don’t celebrate Christmas. But, probably 99% of the people I know do, so I always end up in a Christmas party, with or without presents. So this year, we put up a Christmas Tree!

Luísa only had 4 Christmas in her life, 2 of which she went to bed at her usual 6 pm time and me at 9 pm. The other two, we had dinner with people and not any exchange of presents or Christmas tree or typical Christmas tree or climate. But a lot of the human exchange that it’s so amazing.

I don’t even talk about the subject with her (Christmas), it kind of doesn’t exist for us.

Only that it does. The 24th, we will be working at a volunteer lunch as usual. Only that this Saturday it will be a special dinner with maybe more than 100 people and everyone receiving presents. Luísa will take a present and receive one, it might be the first she relates to the word ¨Christmas¨ (although she probably received presents at Christmas before from her grandma).

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Significant Questions To Ask Yourself in Life

The weekend is almost over, so take some time out and answer some completely pointless questions!!

How much does getting old bother you?
What year of your life did you waste?
How do you choose what books to read?
What news story has made your blood boil this week?
Have you ever broken a window?
Do you forgive and forget?
Gay rights – discuss?
Have your parents ever been disappointed in you?
When did you last travel by train?

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Give kids space

I had two couple of friends coming to visit from Chile.

They were eager to meet my 5-year old, and I could take the chance to meet them first and tell them a little about how to deal with her.

¨She doesn´t like to be called a princess, beautiful, or ugly. She doesn’t like any attention from strangers. She won´t say hello or goodbye, I´m sorry if she looks uneducated at first, she is just really sensible to meeting new people. Don´t even think about touching her¨.

They understood, as they are parents of grown children and had their own stories on the matter.

Then, we picked Luísa up and went for a pizza. As expected, Luísa didn’t talk to them or look at them much. When she asked for the salt and one of them passed it, she said in a low voice: ¨Mom, I asked YOU for the salt¨.  Usually, she won´t take anything from a stranger´s hand.

My friend apologized: ¨I´m sorry, I won´t bother you anymore.¨

It was a pleasant night, and soon Luísa was sleeping in my lap. Continue reading “Give kids space”

Non Traditional Student and Mom of 2… Not so easy!

The post title should really say it all. I’m at the end of my first semester as a “non-traditional” student, meaning I’m an adult learner, not attending full-time on a typical class schedule, not alongside all those fresh-out-of-high-school students.

Nope, none of that. I go to a college where most of the students are in their late 20′s to 50′s, many of whom have families and work full-time jobs. The school offers a few online classes as well as “group study” classes which

The school offers a few online classes as well as “group study” classes which is like a shrunken classroom setting with maybe 4-5 students, but most of the courses are “guided independent study.”

These are courses in which a professor assigns a textbook and the student pretty much reads cover to cover by the end of the semester, with assignments and tests in between. There aren’t such things as midterms or finals.. but there are 10+ page research papers for almost each course.

Continue reading “Non Traditional Student and Mom of 2… Not so easy!”